My whole life consisted of being raised by two liars that lived for control of everything and everyone, especially the easiest one to control, their own child. I was blind to everything, and craved love so bad from other people but the truth is, I had never been loved and didn’t know what love was. I thought it was okay to be treated bad and put down but 10 minutes later be fine and enjoy that persons company around me. I thought it was okay to always treat someone so well and make sure that they are okay even though if I wasn’t okay it was usually from them and they didn’t care. I thought it was okay to always be put second and my voice never be heard. I thought it was okay to raise myself and comfort myself always, because that’s what I had to do. It wasn’t, it was never okay but their was a shelter over my head and I couldn’t see outside of the lies and abuse. This lead me constantly being treated like crap by people and accepting that I wasn’t normal or good enough. Abusive relationship after relationship because I thought they loved me and this was how a person was suppose to be treated. A lost sense of who I was, I never lived for myself. When I finally realized how sheltered I was from abuse the heart ache stung like no other, how could two human beings be so sick when they were given such a perfect gift in life ? I had to let that go and accept that’s who they were and that this didn’t have to be my life or me anymore. I had to walk away, from that moment anything that didn’t serve me in a positive matter and from there I could slowly start to grow and heal from the 23 years of straight bullshit. Years of not wanting to live or feeling like nothing. Everything could change into the complete opposite when I stepped out of my parents umbrella and opened up my own and so I did. I moved out on my own and started to seek help. I cut off unhealthy relationships and started to live everyday for me and that’s where I slowly but surely found my purpose. I started to travel to different countries and it opened my eyes so much to the pure beauty in this world. I was stuck under the dark for so long and it felt so good to be free. They’re hope and if you feel like you have been raised under a similar roof or involved yourself in certain negative circles , start by seeking help or try separating yourself from them to start. They’re the storm and the rainbow after is your life waiting for you.
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton